May 31, 2011

Empat Tahap Cinta yang Wajib Diketahui

Di awal percintaan (bulan pertama dan bulan ketiga)

biasalah baru kenal kan?masa ni semuanya indah2 belaka...dunia ni rasa macam u ollz yg pnya...ular lalu sebelah pon dah x perasan kan(over!)...msa ni be aware...everything yang akan kluar dr mulut c dia bukanlah sebenarnya dtg dr hati si dia.msa ni senyum sorg n sengih sorg2 tu dh jdi mcm hobi dah...yg pling ketara ms ni asyik nk berkepit 24 jam ja dgn c dia...kawan2 yg dlu slalu tman window shoping 2 dh mcm x wjud dh...msa ni lah istila 'cover cun' n 'cover macho' akn nmpk lbh ketara sbb msing2 nk smbunyikn kelemahan msing2 dr pasangan...smua nk nmpk perfect ja.dlm communication lak x byk brckp psal hati budi sebaliknya lbh kpda minat dan citarasa masing2...awal lagi kan...lex lu....

Di pertengahan percintaan (bulan ketiga ke bulan keenam)

msa ni u ollz dan si dia makin mengenali mendalami perasaan anatara sau sama lain.msa ni kamu akan rsa dunia ni u ollz yg pnya.u ollz jgak akn diperkenalkn dgn ahli2 keluarga yang terdekat.namun harus diingat respon daripada ahli keluarganya juga mnjedi slah satu faktor hubungan kamu akan diteruskan ataupun tdak. haaaa...msa ni tembelang si dia pon akn trbkak sdikt dmi sdkit cthnya mcm kentut merata2...kdg2 yg childishnya x reply sms n x angkt hp pon ley jdi msalah yg bsar.pda peringkat ni jgak perasaan cmeburu dan curiga mula ada dlm hati msing2.di peringkat ni frekuensi utk bertemu jugak jarang berbnding prgt sblmnya.namun pada peringkat ni kamu dan si dia smkin mngmbil brt antra stu sma lain...msalah dia kranya mcm msalah kamu jgkla...ehheheeh

Anniversarry (Setahun)

ini adalah saat yang paling berat dalam perhubungan...kamu dan si dia akan berusaha untuk mempertahankan hubungan pada masa ini. namun harus diingtkan bhwa kamu haruslah berwspada seandainya kamu masih belum diperkenalkan dgn keluarganya sbb mgkn ada 2 kemungkinan...satu sama ada si dia blm serius dgn kamu atau si dia sudah beristeri....teeet...pda msa ni bknlah satu bnda msthil utk kamu jth hti dgn llaki len nmn hrus diingakan bhwa sthun yg lalu dia llkai yg pling sempurna d mta kamu. jgn hairan klu si dia sdh blajar memasak mknan kgmranmu n mmbrikn kamu bunga...ni tndanya si dia smkin serius dgn kamu...namun harus diingat walaupln hbgn kamu dh msuk setahun namun kamu x ley la ska2 ati nk chck fb or hp dia.ni akn mnimbulkn rsa krg senang d phk dia.kamu pon mst x ska kalau si dia wat bnda yg sma kn?...hati2 sbb msa ni hal yg kecik pon akn jdi pnca kamu bertengkar....cthnya mcm x amik baju kt dobi pon ley jdi pnca pergaduhan....ehehhehe...

Cinta berakhir bahagia @ penamat (tahun ketga dan seterusnya)

msa ni kamu dan dia dh cpai mutual persefahaman.kamu dan si dia akn mmbuat kptsan utk truskn atau ptskn hbgn...msa ni dh ada suara2 dr tman2 mu yg brtnay bla akn naik jinjang pelamin.kamu smkin rsa si dia krg mmbri perhatian pda kamu.sbnrnya si dia yg mhukn perhatian dr kamu justeru si dia pon bertindak mcm 2.last but not least...hati2 sbb trlalu lma berpasangan bkn jaminan "he's @ she 's the one"

sekian

i'm flexible in making "onar"...hahaha

salam 2 all of u....
just nk share one thing yg happen past 2 days(yeke?lntak la...)
hahahahah

sy follow my mom g skolah my mom utk help mna2 yg perlu utk ngajar tution di smping mgajar jgak....(fhm x?hrp2 fhm la yer....)

n then tba2 beg tangan sy mnjdi spt istana semut merak a.k.a semut gatal...sy pon cleared up la hndbag sy n nk buang smut merah smua 2...pas2 sy nmpk tong smph kt lua kelas...

aha...sy pon bkak la tong smpah 2 n tdung tong smpah 2 sy ltak kt atas beranda kelas....n pas2 sy msuk dlm class...n sy trlpa la plak nk ltak tdung tong smpah 2 blik kt tmpt yg spttnya....pas2 tba2 anging yg kuat dtg n tdung 2 pon jtuh ke bwh...n after bbrpa minutes ad sorg mkcik naik kt class 2...

"teacher,tgk bdak2 ni jahat sungguh...depa khianat sungguh...ada kaptt depa tauk tdung tong samapah kt bawah.dah tu kna kpala sy lak tu"

pas2 bdak2 class 2 pon wat muka blurred n slh sorg dr bdak 2 pon kta
"bkn kami buat kak 2 yg ltk kt ats berada tdi"

n after dat bru la sy trigt tntg tdung tong smph...
ahahhahaha

pas dh mnx maaf n apologize wpun it's too late apologize sy pon ni pick up tdung 2 alik skli mkcik 2 lak mnx maaf sbb dia x taw kta sy pnya keje....aik?terbalik lak...lantak la...ahahhaha...jnji bnda dh sttle...

sekian~~

May 25, 2011

Postdivorce Father-Adolescent Closeness

Researcher had identify why some post divorced parents cannot close to their children whereas some can be close with their child? Researcher also suggested that children who have post-divorced father will have better outcomes if they being close with their father as some of father can be more loving and adaptable more that a mother can do.

Researcher also mentioned that, divorced father have superior communication skills in order to develop a good relationship with their child. On that purpose, researcher propose some objectives that a good relationship between post-divorced parents and children can be maintain whereas to some with poor relationship can being improved to the close relationships.

The life course perspective was divided into four which were, First, father-offspring relationship trajectories are best understood within their historical context. Second, the timing and sequencing of events are linked to the offspring's stage of life. Third, children and parents are active rather than passive in shaping their social environment. Fourth, the interdependence of lives over time emphasizes that people's decisions and circumstances affect the lives of others.

However this relationship always occurs among sons and father as sons are likely to have closer relationships with fathers prior to divorce and may be less likely than daughters to experience a decline in father-offspring closeness. Researcher also mentioned that Black will become more closer with their father compared to White whereas the Hispanic become less close with their father. Racial differences in no marital fertility, divorce rates, and socioeconomic status may contribute to racial differences in father-offspring closeness before and after divorce.

Age, gender, race, and socioeconomic status may also moderate the association between offspring's experiences and traits and postdivorce father-offspring closeness. For example, childbearing may increase the probability of maintaining a high level of father-offspring closeness or may increase closeness if it occurs when offspring are older but may reduce father-offspring closeness if offspring are teenagers and unprepared for parenthood. Interactions with offspring's age, gender, race, and parental education are examined to determine whether patterns of stability and change in closeness differ for early versus late adolescence, for sons versus daughters, across racial groups, or for offspring from lower versus higher socioeconomic backgrounds.

Although, there were many post-divorced father being closed with their children but the mother still being the majority in taking care of children. Even how close the relationships are, if the custody under mother, mother was have the right to determine whether the children can meet the father or not on the some reasonable reason that being proposed in the courts.

As conclusion, the post- divorced parents need to being value by their own children. It cannot being denied that mother-offspring bond, sense of well-being, and the adult role transitions of leaving home, post high school educational experience, becoming a parent, and cohabiting or marrying are found to be key in accounting for why some high-quality father-adolescent relationships remain the same and others decline and why some low-quality father-adolescent relationships remain stable and others improve.

ANALYZE AND PERSONAL COMMENTS

As for my opinion, I think some post-divorced parents should being close with their children as to build the superior image and good self -concepts about the children. As in this articles itself had mentioned that most of the children who have disclose relationship with their post-divorced father will have the good value of life.

Secondly, although the relationship between mother and father already over, but the father should realized that, the relationship between them and their children will not erased as that is their generations. On that concern, post-divorced father should develop an honest and good relationship with their children even after they had divorced.

Thirdly, as in we know, in Islam, a father had the right to become ‘wali’ for their daughter even after they divorced. If the relationship, between post-divorced father and children especially daughter in a good condition, the situation which need the father being there to become “wali” especially on his daughter special day, so, there were no difficullities to find the father as the children always keep in touch with their fathers. It also save time in searching the own father for that purpose.

As being mentioned in this articles, Black will become more closer with their father compared to White whereas the Hispanic become less close with their father. This situation may occurred because of the nature of Black which like to express their own feelings compared to other ethnics. This situation has make more of Black’s children become more adaptable with both of their parents even after they divorced and because of that situation their acceptance of their parents divorced was highly being accepted compared to those who does not.

Differ from west, not all of post- divorced father in Malaysia can have good communication relationship with their children after getting divorced. This situation occurred because of most of them trying to avoiding the history without knowing that their children is their future and not their history. But some of them being so nicely to their children as they want to prove to their ex spouse that they can be a good single parent.

In conclusion, as post- divorced father, the relationship between father and children should become eternity and no boundaries as father is one of the close person to children. Although the relationship between them did not close before getting divorced, they should build close relationship after the family broke down as the bond will go nowhere.

kenapa mesti mengambil hak orang?



salam 2 all of u...
today sy nak share opinion mengenai some issues yang selalu menjengah telinga kita sekarang ni.

mungkin kita pernah mendengar cerita anak dara berkahwin dengan suami orang.tak kurang jugak anak teruna mempunyai hubungan sulit dengan isteri orang.

itu perkara yang seakan-akan menjadi kebiasaan dalam masyarakat kita sekarang.alasan2 para pengacau rumah tnagga orang ini adalah mahukan seseorang yang mempunyai pengalaman.
pengalaman la sangat kan?
tapi yang penting,tepuk sebelah tangan takkan berbunyi kan?kalau satu pihak ja yang terhegeh2 sedangkan satu pihak g wat dunno ja benda mcm ni takkan berlaku

mungkin saya pun bukanlah sempurna untuk nak mengata kat golongan2 ni but apa yang saya terkilan orang2 macam ni tak kisah ke kalau rumah tangga mak bapak diaorg lak yang kena kacau?sometimes putting ourselves in others shoes will make us become better one.

tak kurang jugak ada manusia yang suka kacau makwe and pakwe orang lain. bila ditanya kenapa,alasan2 manusia ni "ala...bru kapel bukan kahwin lagi...orang yang kahwin pon boleh bercerai"

kerana alasan2 hampagas yang diberikan oleh golongan2 macam ni maka semakin banyak kes penceraian yang wujud dalam masyarakat kita.saya pernah membuat satu kajian mengenai kes penceraian di mana menurut salah seorang respondent, hampir 10 peratus rakyat malaysia terlibat dalam kes penceraian setiap hari...ehem...bukan setiap minggu or bulan oke?tapi setiap hari.

siapa yang perlu dipersalahkan?si pihak ketiga?suami atau isteri?tepuk dada tnya iman.jangan tanya saya.
persoalannya sekarang saya masih tak faham kenapa ramai di antara kita suka mengganggu hak orang.dan kenapa manusia2 yang dah berumah tangga ni pon gatal yang amat nak tackle anak dara dengan alasan belum berkahwin atau pun masalh rumah tangga yang berantakan dan bergolak. mcm sy mention tdi tepuk sebelah tangan takan berbunyi kan?

sememangnya kita tak dapat nak sangkal jodoh,ajal dan maut di tangan Allah.tapi Allah juga memberikan hak untuk kita merancang dan bertawakal. jadi sebagai manusia yang ada akal dan diutus untuk menjadi khalifah di muka bumi,kenapa tidak kita membuat pilihan yang tepat dan memohon keredhaan Allah.

bila diasak denga soalan,kenapa suami orang yang menjadi pilihan,seringkali jawapan yang kita dengar "jodoh".sedangkan perkahwinan yang dibina atas dasar tu tak berkekalan pon.dan bila ditnya lagi,jawapannya "dh tak ada jodoh"

ni la antara jawapan2 yang kerap kali kluar dri mulut2 si perampas yang gagal mempertahankan rumah tangga mereka.

seperti yang saya katakan tadi,saya bukanlah sempurna untuk menegur siapa2...umur pon muda lagi walaupun muka matang...hahahahah...tetapi saya hanya berkongsi pendapat...jauh di sudut hati saya beristifar supaya perkara ini tidak berlaku kepada saya dan kaum kerabt saya.nauzubillah.

sama2 kita renungkan.jika boleh elakkan dari mengahwini lelaki atau wanita yang sudah berkeluarga,kenapa tidak kita elakkan?

~sekian~

May 23, 2011

kenapa awak mesti wujud dalam hidup saya?

why awak dtg dalam hidup saya?
why awak suka sakitkan hati saya?

saya cuba jadi kawan yang paling baik dan saya cuba puaskan hati awak!
ni bukan kali pertama
banyak kali dah awak lukakan hati saya
but i think dis time awak dah too much

dah banyak kali saya maafkan apa yang awak buat dekat saya
saya cuba lupakan atas dasar kasih kepada teman tapi sayangnya awak memang tak tahu menghargai orang.

sedih!
kenapa saya mesti jumpa orang yang macam awak
awak tak pernah perlukan kawan dalam hidup awak,awak hanya perlukan orang untuk dipergunakan
awk sentiasa mahukan saya fikirkan pasal awk sedangkan segalanya mengenai saya bukanlah yang pernah awak fikirkan.
kenapa awak mesti wujud dalam hidup saya?

maybe this is the right time utk sy wish dekat awak,
GOODBYE FRIEND...


saya tak perlukan kawan yang suka take things for granted.saya hanya perlukan kawan yang tahu apa maksud persahabatan.tapi sayangnya awak memang tak layak untuk kasih sayang saya pada awak!

May 21, 2011

why lagu korea dis time?

salam 2 all of u

mst u oll tertya2 knp lagu korea kali nie?why and why?
sebab selalunay saya akn update lagu jiwang n hindustan but now knp korea?

sbbnya lirik lagu ni sangat menikan jiwa and membawa maksud tertentu pada saya....ehehehe....klu nk thu google sndrik k liriknya...

saya strtknal lagu ni pas follow drama korea u're my beautiful....mmg sgt2 best drama ni kalau tak takkan saya berjaya habiskan dlm msa shri...ngeeee~~

enjoy the song...
sekian~~

May 20, 2011

konvokesyen saya =)






salam 2 all of u...
on 18th may berlangsungnya konvokesyen sy yg utk diploma dkt UiTM shah alam. alhamdulillah everything run smoothly...apa yang paling penting SAYA TAK JATUH PENTAS...perkara paling saya takut tak jadi....alhamdulillah.

msa smpi mula2 2 sya n family amik gmbr dgn parents dkt studio pas2 family sy n family azan pon grak msuk dkt dAtc utk parking..msa smpi mula2 2 sy,yunna n azan trus g toilet utk porcess touch up pas2 yunna dgn jayanya pakaikan pashmina pda sy...weee~~~

selepas 2 que dgn kwn2 n tunggu dalam dewan...ms nk 2nggu turn sy 2 pnya lma..x yah ckp la...no sy lak 974...mmg rmi la yg akn naik dulu

but finally alhamdulillah..semuanya berjalan dgn lncr

special thanks 2
*my parents sbb mghdirkn dri
*mak teh n family byk support
*yunna nordin sbb sdi meluangkan masa dan bersusah payah dtg ke konvo sy
*family azan atas segalanya

n kepada semua yang terlibat...jgn kecik hati yer klu x disebut..mklumla mlm2 ni otak tgh hanged tah apa2 sy tulis...xp kna update jgak blog ni awal2 sbb klu x cte dh basi...

ok...thanks
~sekian~

May 16, 2011

patah hati

huwaaaa.....:'(
today saya dapat tahu something yang bagi saya patah hati....
tak nak gtaw sbb apa
but just nk post skg tgh heart broken gila...
why?why?why?

sekian~~

May 15, 2011

nervous...

salam 2 all of u...
for all of u information my convocation is JUST AROUND THE CORNER...
perghhh...nervous nak mampus...padahal ada lagi 3 hari but sgt2 la nervous...maklumla saya kan suka wat onar di mana2....mintak simpang la saya wat bnda yg bkn2 during one of my big day...and i do hope ada spa2 yg sudi bg teddy bear mcm ni....ada x?heeee~~

and saya nk ucapkan tahniah kepada kawan2 yang telah n akan konvo....kawan2
FINALLY WE DID IT!

n i do hope that my rumate yg bucuk a.k.a yunna nordin dpt mencemar duli dtg ke konvo sy....ehehheeh...

perghhh...nervousnyaaaa....so it's better to get sleep now...

Ya Allah, permudahkan lah urusan hamba-MU ini...amin...


HAPPY CONVOCATION AND GRADUATION 2 MYSELF AND ALL OF MY FRIENDS.

May 12, 2011

Playful Kiss ^-^




ermmmm.....
as being promised sy akn crtakn sdkit sbyk psal movie playfull kiss yg sy tgk....actually bkn la movie,but drama korea....ehehehe

owh....how 2 describe....this drama totally best....eheehhe

sy x pnah jmpa org yg kalis sentap mcm Oh Ha Nie....even org yg dia syg keep make her offend...but she keep still hold that love.... and because of that rsanya dia dpt jgak dgn lovers dia till the end...

and one more thing...oh ha nie sgt2 la clumsy...muka dh cun skli clumsy yg amat...ehhehhe...apa2 pon sy sgt ska lakonan dia dlm cte nie....:)

yg hero dia Baek Seung Jo ni sgt2 la sweet dlm diam...even dia ni ska wat Oh Ha Nie sentap n sakit hati tapi dia slalu ada bila Oh Ha Ni upset....pling best part dia propose Oh Ha Ni...and after diaorg getting married....sgt2 best.... last but not least...u ollz tgk la crta ni and selamat bergelak ketawa....:)

May 7, 2011

whatcha say!

this song btul2 bermakna pda sy sbb..........................................(u olls fill in the blank sdri oke?)

Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?
Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Jason Derulo)
Mmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is

I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin' to please myself
Girl, I was caught up in her lust
When I don't really want no one else

So, no, I know I should've treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever
So let me in
(Let me in)
Give me another chance
(Another chance)
To really be your man

'Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Mmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?

How could I live with myself
Knowing that I let our love go?
And ooh, what I'd do for one chance
I just gotta let you know

I know what I did wasn't clever
But me and you were meant to be together
So let me in
(Let me in)
Give me another chance
(Another chance)
To really be your man

'Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So tell me girl

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Mmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?

Girl, tell me whatcha said
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said
I really need you in my life
'Cause things ain't right, girl

Tell me, tell me whatcha said
I don't want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin'
Tell me, tell me whatcha said
I really need you in my life
'Cause things ain't right

Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn't know what to do
(I just didn't know what to do)
But when I become a star we'll be living so large
I'll do anything for you
So baby watcha say?

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
(Well of course I did, baby)
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Mmm that it's all for the best?
Of course it is
(Well, of course it is)

Mmm whatcha say?
Mmm that you only meant well?
(Whatcha say?)
Well of course you did
Mmm whatcha say?
(Whatcha say? Whatcha say?)
Wh-wh-wh-what did she say?


Apabila Tamatnya Paper Interpersonal Communications....

Salam 2 all of u...

Today sy nk bercerita psal exam interpersonal comm. Spttnya mula2 x dak spot 4 subjek 2...but Alhamdulilllah dlm pkul 1 pgi sy bkak fb tgk2 ada spot...x taw la nak describe mcm mn perasaan sy,una mira n quyah ms 2...excited smua ada la...

Alhamdulillah lpas exam 2 sy n mereka have lunch dkt mcD sect 2...cdg mla2 nk p tgk wyang skli mgantuk la plak so p mkn ja la...

honestly sy mmg fun gilaaa even kuaq mkn ja ms 2....n i do hope they will feel the way i am too...


taraaaaa....ni la gmbr sy,quyah,mira n una....tq u ollz for the great time...

pas2 blik bilik terus smbg layan crta Playfull kiss...

Pendapat sy psal cte 2?

Wait for another post...

Sekian utk post yg akn dtg

:-)

May 5, 2011

she's everything







how i gonna start
how i gonna did
and how gonna i said it

MAMA...
whenever i dont know how to start u will make it for me...
u will cherish my life...
u will hug me tight whenever i fell depressed
u're the one that always calm me down whenever there is tough time for me

how i gonna describe u mama...
ur calmness always make me free
ur softness always comfort me
ur fiercedness always teach me
and easy to say u're everything to me mama...

i thank to Allah for give me you as my mama...
u make my life easy...
u made everything easy for me...
u always there to support me...
u always there to wipe my tears when i lonely...
u always make me better
and u always did love me...

she's my mom,
she's my bestfriend,
she's my great listener,
she's a warmth hugger,
she's the one that always do support me,
and because of her i am what i am now...




I LOVE YOU MAMA...
~hugs and kisses~

Happy Mother's day

salam 2 all of u...as all of us know yg 12hb may ni merupakan hari ibu...memandangkan masa 2 sy berkemungkinan tidak sempat online jdi post ni ditulis awl dr trkhnya...slh stu alasan lgi sbb nk jdi org pertama yg wish mother's day...wakakakakka....tamak x?

back 2 story...as we smua thu ibu,mama, mak,umi mummy or whatever la panggilan yg kta pnggil adalah orang yg pling ptg dlm hdup kta....even dlm islam pon ckp syurga di bwh tapak kaki ibu...

thus,hr ni sy nk share ksah saya n mama sy...


msa nk lahirkn sy as mama lhirkn sy n sibblings melalui operation,msa 2 org yg nk operate 2 a.k.a doktor mnx mama bau gas ap tah yg nk bg lali 2...oke abaikan...xp nsb baik mama x bau sbb ms 2 tba2 black out la plak...bygkn klu mama bau gas 2 n dgn keadaan yg blackout it will danger my mom life...

after dat
ms sy berumur 4 thn(klu x slp)

mama sy terlibat dlm satu kemalangan di mana trikhnya sama dgn hrijdi sy iaitu 7hb june...msa 2 mmg saya naik moto p bli kek bezday kt saya n unfortunately tba2 ms 2 mama involved dlm kemalangan...but alhamdulillah everything was oke that time...xp sy still rsa bersalah smpi today...

ni hnya randomly crta mengenai my mom n saya...n yet i want 2 share my mom pnya pengorbanan..mama i do love u...u're everything in my life...HAPPY MOTHERS DAY MAMA...


and still sy nk wish mother's day dkt
*mr syg's mom...(wpun sy x pnah jmpa lgi)
*PUAN MARYA ABD RAHIM...a.k.a my mak..amni syg mak...<3
*my sister...AMNI NURLAILA ABD RAHMAN....aku syg ang gak sbb bg anak menakan yg rmi kt aku n cherish my life...
*mr syg's sister...SITI NUR SURHAYANI JEFRI(sorry klu ejaan x btul)^-^
n 2 all mother's in this world...all of u are the great people because u're the one that make the gretest people...

~hugs and kisses~
sekian

May 1, 2011

WOMEN AND THEIR ROLES IN MALAY CONTEXT

The Definition of Women

Women can be defined as an adult female person; a grown-up female person, as distinguished from a man or a child; sometimes, any female person.(Brainy Quote, 2011). In other words woman is a wife and a mother which also characterized the roles of woman in the life context.

Before Being a Women

Before being a woman, this woman being a girl who belongs to be a partners (parents) daughter and a sister towards her siblings. To be woman, the process will go through many steps which it will involve mentally and physically developed. On their teenager’s time, the roles as a girl and women want to be already being hold by them by which they have to take care their parents’ dignity and to taka care of themselves. Different in western culture, the responsibility to take care of daughter was not tough as in Malay culture by which some elders also quotes that “menjaga lembu sekandang lagi mudah berbanding menjaga anak dara seorang”. This proves that to take care upon a daughter is a big challenges in Malay context as daughter will represent parents’ behaviours.

Though, it was a compulsory for girl’s teenagers to take care of their behaviour and even words. Every word that may come form them will be taken into account. Differ with boys with everything that boys did will not being cared by the society but if it comes to girls; the parents have to face the consequences that come form any action. For example, it is okay if boys go back to home late at night but it is inappropriate for girls if they came late at night even for study purpose. The gaps between these two genders being viewed in different perceptions in Malay context even the intention of the actions might being the same Thus, no wonder if girls become earlier matured compared to boys as since small they have to be responsibility towards many things especially regarding themselves.

Women’s Role After Married in Malay Culture.

Today as I read in Mingguan Wanita magazines, as usual I always opened up at the page the problems that always occurred in marriage. As usual the problems like husband having an affair, and the mischief husband always being in my concern when I am reading this magazine.

Let me share one article that I’ve read in this magazines but I am not so sure about which edition it was. The story begin with the woman who have education level high than her husband. At the beginning of married there were no problem for them as they did not have any kids yet but the problem start occurred when they have 4 children which to send all of the children to the nursery will take a lot of cost. So the women willing to give up her job which have more income than husband in order to take care of kids at home. After a few months, she can see how her husband changes in term of being so mean and disrespect towards her. At first, she was thinking that might be her husband tensed of works. The truth starting to invent when her husband had to outstation in Penang and after he arrived home, his wife take his bag to do some laundry and unfortunately, she found women’s clothes in her husband bag. She did not ask her husband at that time but she waited until morning and then she asked her husband about the clothes. The husband without mercy had committed to his wife about his ‘game’ and that things already started three months ago.

This is one of the examples of the situation that happened in Malaysian’s couples’s marriage. The situation which husband become forgets his root and will have other women whenever they have the chances was not a new thing that occurred in today situation. Who should being blamed on? The husbands? Or the wives?

Some men will put a blamed on women which most of them said that their wives become less attractive after married especially when they have children. They wives will have less sense of fashioned even at the home which make most of them take things for granted by having a scandal out from house. Is this just an excuse of the exact situation?

These are the challenges being women in Malay society. To being blamed was a nature since them in their childhood time. Everyone will find their mistakes and will blamed them on what happened but when the things was just in order not even single of them say thank you to them.

Firstly, the women roles in Malay context is to take care of the family in term of their families affairs like food, clothes and anything that related to house chore. Even planned family budget also on women part of responsibility that’s why many of today’s women preferred to have maid and sometimes assistant in order to assist them as many of today’s women is carrier women so, to do all of house chore by herself was not a easy task.

If a marriage couples getting married for many years but unfortunately does not have any kid yet, the blamed also be put on the women part. A man will always have the excuse to divorce his wife or to marry again if his wife fails to bear him children. A childless family is subject to all kinds of gossips and comments, the popular one being, “seperti rambutan jantan, orang berbunga dia berbunga, orang berbuah dia tidak”, (Like a male rambutan tree, others flower, it also flowers, but others bear fruit, it bears nothing). This shows how important it is for a family to have children, which by their pres­ence, will not only provide at atmosphere of families in the home, but most importantly will strengthen the marital bond between the spouses.(Yaakob harun, 2009). So it was essential for women to tried and cherishes her husband all the time although it was beyond of her willingness.

For children, as a mother, woman has to keep looking on her children and also take care of her children education so that her children will not neglect their studies. Mother also a person that children will ask for protection if they are scare and feel insecure. So the task of women was not easy as we thought. Mother also the one that have to take care of daughter dignity as they did before on their teenager’s time. Malay parents will theoretically disown their children who bring shame to the family by their act of sexual misbehaviour. Such misbehaviour by the children is expressed in a saying, “menconteng arang ke muka ibu bapa” (to scribble charcoal on the parents’ faces). As a result of which, the family will be in disgrace. It is even worse if an unmarried girl ever gets pregnant for its effect could never be kept away from public knowledge. As the adage says, “bangkai gajah tidak boleh ditutup dengan nyiru, ” which literally means ” the corpse of an elephant can never be hidden under a sieve”. So, the mother again need to keep her eyes on her daughters especially so that the situation mentioned above will not happened in their families.

As conclusion, the roles of women was continuously without non stop as in order to take care of her family the big sacrifice was needed in term of they have to sacrifice their leisure time by which filled it with the time for family.

The Values of Women in Malay Perspective

Nowadays, women roles on daily life are something irreplaceable. Yet, we should admit that women was a soft creature with tow hands but she still doing all of the works by herself with I think men was not capable to do the same although they being asked to do the same thing like women does.

As a mother, all of us also have the same values towards mothers in term she is the one that we will share everything and always light us up whenever we upset. That’s why most of the women always put away their feelings in order to cherish people surround them.

The role of women as homemaker is almost universal, particularly in traditional cultures. Household chores like preparing meals for the family, cleaning, washing, ironing, and taking care of babies and children have always been regarded as women’s responsibility. The Malays regard the wife as “ibu rumah” or the nucleus of the family. The nickname of “orang rumah” or the per­son who manages the house given by the husband to his wife explicitly explains the expected role position a woman should undertake when she gets married. Malay parents also give the nickname of “orang dapur”, or the person who manages the kitchen to their new-born baby girl, as opposed to the nickname of “orang balai”, or the person who sits in the hall, given to their new-born baby boy. It has been the society’s perception that a woman’s place is in the home. The notion, “no matter how educated a girl is, she eventually ends up in the kitchen’, had, at one time, greatly influenced the minds of the Malay parents, to the extent that daughters were deprived of their chances of getting good educa­tion. Only after Independence that more educational opportunities were ex­tended by the Malay parents towards their daughters. When a married woman assumes the role of homemaker, it does not mean that she is solely held responsible for the management of the family or of the house the family lives in. Tasks such as repairing the house, painting, fixing roof tiles, etc., still fall under husband’s responsibility. He is to be blamed if the house he and his family live in, is in a dilapidated state. In the eyes of the general public, it is a disgrace to see a woman climbing up to fix roofs, or taking up the tasks of house repair, even though help from her husband, or from any male member of the family is not readily available.

Women in Islam Perspective

As in Islam, the violence’s towards women was prohibited. As women is one of the most people that should being please most. Islam condemns all forms of violence towards women as it is the basic Islamic premise of equality between women and men cannot be achieved so long as violence against women persists.

The example form of violence against women is that committed by husbands on their wives. Islam requires that husbands treat their wives with respect and it prohibits any form of physical or emotional abuse. The Quran requires that spouses treat each other with love and mercy. (Quran 30:21). Moreover, the Quran repeatedly warns against the use of injurious statements by a husband against his wife. (Quran 58:2-4). (Muslim Women Leagues, 1995)

If it happened that women being raped, as society we should not put a blame on her as it was not her fault to being raped by the criminal. As being mentioned in the Muslim Women Leagues, 1995 rape, unfortunately, remains a common form of violence against women. In addition, the woman is often blamed for being the victim of rape. Islam views rape as a violent crime against the victim, against society, and against God. The perpetrator has committed a crime and hence is morally and legally responsible. The victim is an unwilling partner in the sex act and thus bears neither blame nor stigma. To either ostracize or condemn the victim because she was compelled to engage in sexual intercourse is against the laws of Islam as the victim was an unwilling, and therefore, a blameless participant.

Conclusion

As conclusion, women should give the honour in the society as the roles that they played were unidentifiable as the roles that they did was not easy as other task. In today reality in which most of the women have their own career and sometimes will let go their career just to take care family affairs. So, the credit should being given to them.

Let’s leave the bad perception and the stereotype about women behind and start to put men and women on the same level. What we can do is start from the family by avoiding stereotype and classified our children in their specification of task like boys just did the boys’ chore while girl just doing girls chore. Sometimes just let them did other gender task. For example, it is not wrong if sometimes boys helped mother in the kitchen while girl helped their father did repairing chores. What we should do now is letting they mingle around with other tasks sometimes.

References

Women In Islam (n.d.). Retrieved April 24, 2011, from Women In Islam: http://www.uga.edu/islam/Islamwomen.html

Harun, Y. (2009, September 3). Malay Family. Retrieved April 24, 2011, from Malay Family Values: http://malayfamilysystem.blogspot.com/2009/09/malay-family-values.html

Women Aid Organizations. (2001, March). Retrieved April 24, 2011, from Women Equality in Malaysia: http://www.wao.org.my/news/20010301statusreport.htm